PREFACE: This (the two week wait) is the WORST. Try not to go into this week with anything in mind other than getting through it. My one bit of advice: DON’T LOOK STUFF UP. I know it’s hard, but looking things up will only cause frustration. Women are all so different – someone could be feeling ALL the symptoms and another one can feel none but they could both be pregnant at the end of it. I found myself comparing my “symptoms” to others and getting disappointed that I wasn’t feeling certain things. I started to look up every little cramp and seeing if that meant anything… All you need to do is survive these 2 weeks. (If you are in pain or anything super out of the ordinary, of course, go to your doctor.)

There may or may not be light spotting and more than likely you will have some cramping. If you were injected with hormones/trigger shot, you’ll probably feel some period-like cramps/pains in week 2, which can be scary since your period is the last thing you want. Drink lots of water, track your temperature, and read a book or three or the whole HP series again.. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS.

Okay now here’s my story:

The insemination was super easy. It was essentially a pap smear without any lubricant (it can kill the sperm which would obviously keep them from reaching the egg). The morning of, I woke up with some stomach cramping and I was a little nervous, but mostly excited.

After insemination, I had to lay on my back with my knees up for about 15 minutes. They told me to take it easy for the next two weeks. It can take 3-10 days (roughly) for a fertilized egg to implant into the uterus. It takes about 12 days for the hormones from the trigger shot to get out of your system too, so I can’t take a pregnancy test until day 14.

Another tidbit we found out was super interesting. So the day I got inseminated I would actually be “3 weeks pregnant” because, that’s right, they count by the last period. WHAT?! Even though we know the exact date of insemination, all pregnancies go based on the date of your period prior. Super crazy information, but the good news is that we will be able to tell people sooner! We are choosing to wait until I am at least 10 weeks before we tell our families and at least 12 weeks before we go public with an announcement. (That means that if you’re reading this, we’ve already reached that point!)

Possibility of TMI (too much information) ahead. Mom, Dad, unless you want to read about my bodily functions, please stop here and move onto the next blog post.

Day 1: I had a stomach ache early in the morning, and light cramping after insemination that could’ve been unrelated. The actual insertion was less fun than usual due to the whole “no lube” situation, but it only lasted a minute or so. Samantha got to operate the syringe when it came time to actually do the insemination, which was a really neat experience. (Samantha here: I was NOT sure that I wanted to do this part… I didn’t want to kill them!! But they talked me into it, and now Steph can officially say that the first time she had sperm in her, I put it there!!!) We went to Target later in the day (I had a pretty lazy day that included a nap since our appointment was at 7:15am) and I felt a sharper cramp before we went inside. I had a little bit of spotting/vaginal discharge which I’ve been reading is totally normal..

Day 2: Normal overall. I noticed my breasts were a little more sensitive than normal but that could totally be in my head. I also accidentally stabbed myself with a fork. Unfortunately, I cannot blame that one on pregnancy brain… yet..

Day 3: We went to brunch and shopped around a bit. Nothing out of the ordinary. Honestly, I expected to feel different after insemination. I’m not sure how, but I pretty much feel the same as after any doctor appointment we’ve had so far.

Day 4: First day back to work. Brewed decaf coffee. #sendhelp – I’m realizing how long these two weeks are going to be….

Day 5-6: I have been feeling some tummy pressure as if I just did some crunches. Totes could be my abs turning to stone because I haven’t used them in so long, LOL. Thank goodness my calculus professor decided to give us a MASSIVE amount of homework this week to keep me busy. Felt a few sharp cramps around 7pm.

Day 7-11: I’ve been getting some period type cramps that were worse on day 9. It feels a bit like I’ve just eaten a big meal all the time. I feel a little bloated and have felt little bits of nausea here and there. I’ve also been breaking out a bit on my face (which I’ve been washing more often) but that could be due to the hormone injection.

Day 12: Last night I had some cramping (like period cramps) and woke up around 6am and just laid in bed for 45 min before my alarm went off. This morning I had some light spotting (this can last for a few days) and continued cramps throughout the day, which could’ve been intensified through hunger, lol. I’m definitely a bit more emotional today out of nowhere. I’m either starving or don’t want any food, there is no in between. Samantha has been so helpful and supportive and has been talking me off of my “what if” ledge, which has been super beneficial to me. Definitely lean on your spouse for support because this 2-week wait is brutal.

Day 13: (tmi: blood) My wife just informed me that Day 1 is actually Day 0 so that’s my bad. The “spotting” has turned into what looked more like a light period. Long story short, I mildly panicked since I can’t afford to full-on panic in case I’m actually preggo. I wasn’t expecting to see “blood” in the toilet, only the cute “pink” color everyone seems to get when they wipe. BUT turns out it can be a bit more like a light period. I’m still getting a slight pink when I wipe, but even the “light” amount scared me a bit. Cramps are still present. I put on a panty liner just in case. It was very light before I went to bed.

Day 14: After a VERY long 2 weeks, I am officially not pregnant. The whole turn of events was very “boy who cried wolf”. We are going to wait until my next cycle to try again …because $$$… so in a month, roughly.

Honestly, I’m sad it didn’t take this time. We did everything we were supposed to, but the odds are still 1 in 5. Getting your period after trying to have a baby is SUPER disappointing. Overall, I’d say get used to oversharing with your partner. They’re in this as much as you are and even though it’s not their body, they’re still your support person. I don’t know what I would do without Samantha constantly supporting me and loving me like she does. This isn’t the end of our journey, it’s just the beginning.

Cost:
Insemination: $500

Total cost to date: $2650.50