Oh, the feelings.

I think in order to prepare our hearts, we have begun to almost expect a negative test so that when we finally get our positive, we will be able to be surprised and excited about it.

I thought this one was it. I’ve been way more emotionally and physically exhausted than usual and this time just felt a little different. I can’t really explain it other than having a glimmer of hope. It’s definitely discouraging especially watching my egg count dwindle down with each IUI attempt. Samantha is budgeting to make it so that we can afford to try again this month. That’ll be 6 IUI attempts for me and I think I may call it quits if that one doesn’t work. I can say with confidence that this has been the most mentally and physically draining experience of my life.

We have plans to start with Samantha sometime next year (2020), which will give us a few months to save up again.

2019 has been filled with our greatest hopes and our greatest challenges and I’m sure 2020 will come with its own characteristics that challenge us and shape us into the adults and hopefully the parents we will become. This is a learning curve with both of us, but we are here supporting each other and loving each other through all of it and that’s what matters most.

Cost:

Total baby-making cost to date: $9407.70