7-part 3: TWW & Results

Making Baby Mettler
For the first week and 3 days, I felt absolutely nothing. No cramping, no back pain, no pain anywhere else, no cravings, NOTHING. I’ve spent the last few weeks convincing myself that it’s fine and totally normal. One week and 4 days comes along and now I’m starting to feel some tenderness and a little back pain and light cramping (like when you walk by the fried chicken at Publix on an empty stomach). I’ve been an emotional black hole because I had 3 midterms this week. I’m only taking 3 classes, you’d think they’d talk to one another and try to scatter them around. I’ve been drinking water like a camel and yet somehow still have dry mouth. Oh, also, I’ve had a bloody nose for the past 2 days so far – not the leaking kind though.. I haven’t just been bleeding out of my nose for days.. lol… but when I blow my nose, there is blood in the tissue. Now that my midterms are over, I can breathe again, and totally not stress out over taking a pregnancy test this weekend. Sam and I (me and Sam?)’s theory is that maybe because we inseminated on day 14 instead of day 17/18 that I’m roughly 4 days behind with symptoms because my eggs were 4 days “younger” than the other times. Not sure how the logic holds up, but I’m gonna run with it. We booked a vacation to Washington DC coming up SO soon (or depending on when you’re reading this, we hopefully had a great time!). The only time I had off from school was my spring break, which unfortunately doesn’t apply to work. *Raise your hand if you think your job should have a spring break* I’m honestly just so excited for 40-degree weather, a date with Lincoln again, the Air and Space Museum, and the FOOD. So anyway, no matter how this one turns out, we get to go to DC. Crossing our fingers and toes and hoping this works out the way it’s supposed to.

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Results:

I decided to go ahead and post the results on this blog instead of posting a whole new blog of disappointment. We got 2 negative tests. I took 2 tests a few days apart just to be sure. As disappointing as it is, it’s sort of like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve wanted to get pregnant and I’ve been trying so hard and I’ve been put through the wringer with testing and blood draws, not to mention the emotional aspect. Samantha keeps asking how I’m doing. She knows I’m not good with the words. I’m bummed but I’m okay. This is the beginning of our journey, not the end. Now Sam gets to go through all the fertility testing! Yay! As much as I wanted this, I’ve accepted that it’s not my time yet. We’ve been praying for a miracle, and I believe that one day it’ll happen for us. For now, we will live vicariously through all of our pregnant friends and parents of little ones. Positives: I don’t have to take progesterone anymore! (sorry about the mood swings babe). I can eat sushi, lunch meat, and medium-rare steak again! We are going to DC and I’m SO excited for our WEEK LONG adventure (and the cold weather and being in a hotel and not catching the coronavirus). I won’t be pregnant while taking differential equations and physics II, which honestly is sort of a relief – pregnancy brain in everyday life is bad, but I can’t imagine trying to do high-level math with half a brain, lol. I get to go hard at the gym again. I get to watch my wife go through all the fertility things I went through and hopefully get to watch her become a birth-mommy to our child. I can drink COFFEE again!! Real, caffeinated coffee – I had one yesterday and honestly felt like I was going to pass out because I was so jittery. Maybe I’ll take it slow.. lol. We are learning to trust the journey and to be patient. Everything worth having is worth working for.

TL:DR We’re not pregnant, but we are doing okay and moving forward. Samantha, I hope you’re ready because I’m going to be your biggest cheerleader and support system. Here we go.

Baby Journey cost: (I’ve decided to add in the cost of this pregnancy test because they are 100% a part of the cost of this journey!) Clear Blue digital test two-pack: $9.99 at target Total baby-making cost to date: $12,343.05

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