On failure

Aspiring Rocket Scientist

I’ve been super MIA lately. Going back to school has been difficult from a learning standpoint. I never had to study in high school and I’m still getting the hang of it. It’s caused me to be absent in a lot of areas, blogging being one of them. As I struggle through finals week, I’ve been reminded time and time again that failure is not the same thing that it was when I was younger.

I’m high school failure was losing a soccer game or getting a bad grade. Failure was dropping your coffee or being made fun of for the clothes you’re wearing. Failure was your parents marriage and not getting into the school you wanted.

Failure changes as you age, or it has for me. I’ve learned how to process failure differently and learn from it.

I may or may not have just bombed my calculus exam, which I needed an 80 on to pass the class. I’ve been stressed about Calculus since week 3 simply due to the speed and complexity of it and having to teach myself after not having any complex math since high school 10 years ago..

Here’s the thing.. If i have to take the class again, I’ll just have to take the class again. I am committed to this goal of becoming an aerospace engineer. Of course it feels much better knowing a third of my class is in the same boat. After a bunch of people dropped it, I decided to stick with it because this is my dream and my goal and I refuse to let a few bad grades or a hard class dictate whether or not I achieve what I set my mind to.

Failure is not bad.

Failure teaches you experience.

Failure teaches you knowledge.

Failure teaches you resilience.

Failure creates growth.

Failure teaches value.

Wherever you are in life, know that you will fall. Expect to fall. Expect it to hurt and expect it to happen a lot. Learn from it. Don’t let it dictate who you are, let it dictate your strength to get back up.

No one got to be successful without failure. Celebrate your wins AND your losses. They help shape you.

That’s all for now – need to study for my chemistry exam!

Steph

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Married Life, Traveling Gypsies

This past week we’ve been busy celebrating my wife’s thirty-second birthday. I’ve never been so proud of another human in my entire life.

For her birthday, we went mini golfing, then I took her to Universal to see all the Harry Potter things, and this weekend I basically told her to pack a bag and we drove through the night to North Carolina to see her best friend. 💜

Somehow I managed to keep that last one a total surprise!

In one month we will be celebrating our first whole year as a married couple. We’ll be flying to Seattle and spending a week there. (These blog posts might be getting slightly redundant, lol). We are currently in the process of saving up for the “family expansion pack” – which is a little more expensive than the traditional way of things.

Saving money is never fun, especially when you really like to spoil your wife, go to concerts, and travel.

School update: calculus is still hard, chemistry is still hard.. but I’m crying less so that’s something positive. 😂 I ran into an engineering major who was almost done with his classes and he assured me that Calc 1 was one of the hardest courses he took, which was sort of comforting. I just keep telling myself “I’ve totally got this” and my wonderful wife keeps telling me the same thing. I just have to work super hard until December then do it all over again for the next four years.

I’ve totes got this. 🙌🏻

My journey into quantum mechanics.

Aspiring Rocket Scientist, Married Life

It’s 3:45am.

No one said this would be easy. On the contrary, I’ve gotten so much unsolicited advice paired with brilliantly astute observations about how difficult aerospace engineering is. It’s, like, ACTUAL rocket science.

TBH, Going from 2 to 4 classes was probably not the smartest move on my part. Chemistry is proving to be extremely time consuming. I missed Labor Day weekend with friends and any weekend plans have pretty much gone out the window since I started school. I am constantly doing homework, which is why I haven’t written a new blog in a bit.

This past week, I had 3 exams. It’s been difficult to balance time between the 4 classes and keep any semblance of a personal life. I am so lucky and have the most incredible and supportive wife who is the real champion in all of this. She’s been my shoulder to cry on (Calculus has been real rough and my emotions are all over the place lately), and my personal cheerleader.

Our first anniversary is coming up in just over a month. We are going to Seattle and Portland which I’m SO excited for since I haven’t been to either place. We are going to a few concerts while we are there, also. This Florida girl has no idea how to dress for windy 40° wet weather, but I feel like I’ll probably learn pretty quickly how to properly layer.

Oh a few weeks ago, our big 80lb fluff decided to shatter a vase in our bathroom and then stab herself with it slicing her tendon in the process.. $400 later, she got stitched up and got to wear a giant cone which was basically just an obnoxious device meant for knocking over anything in its path, including humans. She got her stitches out yesterday and the vet said she’s looking good!

Sam’s bday is coming up soon and we always try to surprise each other with cool plans. I can’t say what the plans are obviously, but I’ll post afterward with pics. I’m so excited to have some social interactions after feeling like a caveman staring at equations and the periodic table.

This year has been so incredible. Idk how other people feel about the first year of marriage but ours has been nothing short of perfection.

In short, I’ll probably be taking 3 classes next semester for sanity’s sake. My classwork has taken the forefront and while Sam is beyond supportive, I do enjoy spending quality time with my wife.

Babe, if you’re reading this, you inspire me to be a better person every day and you push me to succeed and I love you for that and I’m so grateful for you.

Until next time.

Steph

First week of school

Aspiring Rocket Scientist, Married Life

My first week of school has begun!

I’m officially enrolled in Calculus I, Intro to Computer Programming, and Space Weather at UCF and Chemistry I at Valencia as a transient student. I had to do that in order to receive financial aid and also be able to take classes off campus (campus is 30 min from home, 50 min from work). The majority of my classes are online, which is great since I work full time as well. Next up on my Aerospace Engineering program would be to finish the math and physics tracks (calc 2, 3 and Physics, 1, 2, differential equations, probability and statistics) and then I get into the more fun classes like thermodynamics and statics and dynamics.

There was only a 4 week break between Summer and Fall semesters, but I turned into a big heaping ball of anxiety before classes started. I think I’m good now. I’m super grateful that my job allows me to work on some homework during my free time, too.

Side note: If anyone has any questions regarding financial aid and returning to school, let me know! I’m pretty much a professional now. 

The wife and I have been trying out DuoLingo,

which is an app that teaches you another language at a slow and steady pace (10+ minutes per day). We’ve been learning Danish since her family is originally from Denmark! I can say “Kvinden og Manden har en tallerkin” which means “The woman and the man have a plate” (we think it’s funny, but it’s one of the prompts, lol). You get rewarded for daily streaks and so far we are both 13 days strong! My favorite work so far is “skildepadde” which is “turtle” – but the hardest for both of us is brød, which somehow has an L sound also a G sound.. Haven’t quite mastered that “ø”, but we have her mom on speed dial which helps!

I’m finding it so enriching to be learning so many different things. While it can sometimes be a bit overwhelming – last week in Calc, we learned that a number over zero doesn’t equal zero – but the learning process on the whole has been so incredibly fulfilling. I think at this point in my life I’ve learned to cherish the hard work that goes into learning something new so hopefully that passes along to my kids.

Speaking of our future children:

Sam did a bunch of research on fertility and set me up with a handful of pills and herby things that are said to help prepare your body for babies. Other than having some strange dreams about actually being pregnant, I have been feeling pretty much the same. That being said, I’ve always been super predicable with all the monthly tracking, until I started taking all the pills, but it turns out that’s super normal and it didn’t change too much, but I’m still tracking ovulation and all that since it’s more of a science experiment for us and also costs about $2000 each time we try (no pressure).

We have a bunch of concerts, travel plans, and adventures coming up toward the end of this year, which will be fun! We are also starting Whole30 again for September, which totally clashes with Epcot’s Food and Wine Festival.. I’ll try to post a few recipes and of course keep everyone updated on our travels and adventures. 

 

 

Turning 30 and reflecting on my 20’s.

Uncategorized

I turn 30 tomorrow.

original_by-your-age-30th-birthday-card

Ten years ago I was a sophomore in college wondering what my life would become and what sort of person I would end up being. I remember sitting on the edge of my extra long dorm room bed. I was totally alone for the first time in my life. My 20’s were a time when I truly and honestly lived and experienced every moment of each day. Granted, I slept through many a class and made some not-so-awesome decisions, but overall, my 20’s defined me as a person, as they tend to do for most people, I’m guessing.

When I was in High School, I was taught that the predetermined course for a woman like myself was to graduate, attend college, meet the man of my dreams, get married, have babies, and become a teacher or one of 3 other professions that would allow me to take care of the kids while also providing supplemental income to my husband. (To clarify, it’s okay if you did this – it just wasn’t for me..)

SIDE NOTE: Every year on my birthday from 16 until about 20, a princess movie was released on or near my birthday. Last night Sam and I were watching Princess Diaries 2 on the couch and the soundtrack gave me all the feels. The early 2000’s were so strange and mystifying, but also a time when we din’t have to make life-altering decisions yet. Do yourself a favor and enjoy this throwback.
https://open.spotify.com/user/tylfawpsf7pl5mrtrqc69vwme/playlist/7jX2AeIRoabbtSftFTDYXz?si=N_RKn22FR0mD7a0j3vyr1Q

By 22 I had all but forgotten my “path of life”. I was in film school making movies that reflected my childhood and how it had affected my life. At this point in my life, I had recently “come out” and was re-inventing who I was as a person and not as someone who’s life was predestined. I had choices now and I was going to take advantage of them. During your 20’s, you discover that most of your bad choices pertain to individuals you date and the fact that you didn’t break up with them sooner, but that point is moot.

At 26, I was on my own again and trying to keep my head above water. I met my future wife when I was 26. It was such a different experience than the other people I had dated. It felt so adult. There was no drama. I was so proud to have chosen such a rich, genuine soul that I connected with. I asked her to marry me less than a month in. I knew she was the one, but we waited a few years until I asked her for real, though.

The last 4 years of my 20’s were the most life-changing, I think. I learned a lot in my lower 20’s that I could now apply to my upper 20’s in an attempt to “adult”. I’ve made many huge decisions that would affect the rest of my life. November 2016 I asked my wife to marry me. November 2017 we were married. In the last year, I’ve made the decision to go back to school, have ACED my first semester back to college, and now we’re talking about expanding our family.

Who knows what my life would look like if I had decided to follow that predetermined path. I’m doing things a little untraditionally, but I’m doing what works for me and for my family. I’m not expecting to have everything in my life sorted out by tomorrow or have a sudden realization that I’m adult now. I’m not expecting much to change other than I’ll be another year older. I can honestly say that I’m proud of the person I’ve become and I have a solid foundation and a solid support system. I’m ready for 30. Let’s turn the page on my 20’s and get this party started!