We figured it was time for more of an update to what our future looks like.
We had to get realistic. We would like to have a big family, and no matter how many high hopes, well wishes, fertility crystals, and prayers that we have, the facts are still the facts; Steph’s egg count is insanely low.
We started discussing me carrying and what all that would entail. And as much as I always said I didn’t want to carry, it all boiled down to how badly did I really want to make our own babies. We knew that we needed to start this process with me soonish, since we know from experience, how long this can all take. We didn’t know what my egg count looked like, if I had hormonal imbalances that would keep me from being able to carry, or who knows what. I have an IUD, and have for 6 years. I haven’t had a cycle since the first 3 months or so that I got the first Mirena (I’m on my second one). I’m overweight and I read soooo many things that scared me about being pregnant and being overweight, so we knew it was time for a professional opinion.
I saw my primary doctor first because my insurance requires me to have a referral in order to see a specialist. She told me that weight doesn’t really play a HUGE factor in Fertility and that it’s based more on health (which is the same thing my gyno said), so she said that if this is something I really want, I need to get serious about losing some weight so that I have an easier pregnancy. She ran a whole bunch of bloodwork and turns out, I’m pretty damn healthy. My Bad Cholesterol was 3 points higher than it should be, and she said that wasn’t anything to really worry about as long as I was sticking to working out and eating the things that I should be eating. Long story short, stay away from white things. She prescribed me Phentermine and explained that it would only help me lose more weight while I was actually trying and putting forth the effort, but that it wasn’t a magical weight loss pill. I needed to be the one putting in the work.
Two weeks later, I had my first consult with our doctor to discuss what she would need from me. Ie. how much weight would I need to lose and what our next steps were going to be. She told me that there wasn’t a specific number that she needed to see, just that she needed to see that I was serious about trying to be healthier. She ran a million more tests (12 vials worth of blood) to check allll the things I was concerned about. And she did an Internal Ultrasound that day, which I was NOT mentally prepared for. (I still don’t actually know what the purpose of that torture was…but whatever lol). The nurse called me about a week later and told me that my hormone levels were all great, my blood type was O+ (the exact opposite of Steph’s 0-), and I am CMV Positive (which broadens our donor search ALOT if we decide to switch donors for whatever reason, because being CMV negative is super rare, which means having to select out of a LOT fewer donors who are negative).
Got the Bill for those things like 3 days before my follow up appointment about what our next steps would be and found out that my insurance didn’t cover a big portion of them. So there was an extra $223.63 I wasn’t prepared to spend.
The follow-up appointment told me what my AMH (egg count) level is. Turns out, I have allll the eggs. My AMH is 2.4, and to give you an idea of how many more eggs that is than Steph’s…Steph’s was 0.52 three months ago. I told the doctor when we wanted to start the IUI process with me and so the doctor and I made a plan. She will see me again in 3 months, to make sure that I am still sticking to everything that we discussed, and from there, I will schedule to have my IUD removed with the Gynecologist. One month after I get the IUD removed (I have to wait because my IUD may have put a dent in my uterus and I have to wait for that the reshape), I will have the HSG test to make sure that both of my fallopian tubes are open and that my uterus isn’t tilted and is the shape it’s supposed to be for optimal baby-making. If I haven’t started my cycle by then, she will do whatever they do to force it to happen, and then we start the IUI process.
So here I am, working out 6 days a week, staying under my calories with healthy whole foods, and still trying to adult.
WHY DOESN’T ANYONE TELL YOU HOW HARD THAT IS??
I work until 5pm Monday-Friday. I get into the gym by like 5:40 once I’ve battled traffic. I get home around 7-7:20ish, I have to cook, clean up, and take care of the dogs. Steph gets home between 7:40 and 8pm (usually starving and ready to chew off someone’s arm #sorrynotsorry), we eat dinner, relax for an hour, go to sleep and then it’s time to do it all over again. We are working on figuring it all out and getting a system in place, but this shit is hard. Despite all this, it still won’t make me quit. Having a family and being around to see our kids grow up thing means too much for me to give up.
So for now, just know that I am probably just busy at the gym and learning how to adult in a new way, and not ignoring you.
We’ll talk more about the journey with me in about 3ish months when I have things to report. Until then, Let’s get a baby in Steph.
TL:DR – Sam started getting tests done, she’s been kicking butt at the gym, she’s super healthy and in good shape for when we’re ready with her. Adulting is hard.
Primary doctor for referral: $30 copay
Bloodwork deductible: $37
Primary followup on bloodwork: $30 copay
Fertility Doctor consult: $55 copay
Fertility Bloodwork: $223.63 out of pocket cost that insurance didn’t cover
Fertility Doctor followup: $55
Total baby-making cost to date: $7753.39